Grand Nagus Trump

The Grand Nagus'

Some apt Rules of Acquisition:

5.  If you can’t break a contract, bend it.

13.  Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

15.  Acting stupid is often smart.

16.  A deal is a deal … until a better one comes along.

20.  When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat

25.  Fear makes a good business partner.

28.  Morality is always defined by those in power.

29.  When someone says “It’s not the money,” they’re lying.

37.  You can always buy back a lost reputation.

42.  Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.

43.  Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.

49.  Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent.

51.  Never admit a mistake if there’s someone else to blame.

68.  Compassion is no substitute for a profit.

87.  Trust is the biggest liability of all.

90.  Mine is better than ours.

99.  Never trust a wise man.

100.  Everything that has no owner, needs one.

109.  Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.

110.  Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.

111.  Treat people in your debt like family … exploit them.

115.  Greed is eternal.

116.  There’s always a way out.

125.  A lie isn’t a lie until someone else knows the truth.

126.  A lie isn’t a lie, it’s just the truth seen from a different point of view.

131.  If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.

138.  Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder.

142.  A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.

144.  There’s nothing wrong with charity … as long as it winds up in your pocket.

155.  What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine too.

159.  The customer is always right … until you have their cash.

160.  Respect is good, Latinum is better.

164.  Never spend your own money when you can spend someone elses.

175.  When everything fails – run.

178.  The world is a stage – don’t forget to demand admission.

180.  Never offer a confession when a bribe will do.

182.  Whenever you’re being asked if you are god, the right answer is YES.

188.  Never bet on a race you haven’t fixed.

191.  Let other keep their reputation. You keep their money.

198.  Employees are the rungs on your ladder to success – don’t hesitate to step on them.

202.  a)  A friend in need is a customer in the making

b)  A friend in need means three times the profit.

207.  Never trust a hardworking employee.

209.  Tell them what they want to hear.

223.  Rich men don’t come to buy; they come to take.

227.  Loyalty can be bought … and sold.

238.  The truth will cost.

239.  Ambition knows no family.

247.  Never question luck.

254.  Anyone who can’t tell a fake doesn’t deserve the real thing.

259.  A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn’t know.

261.  A wealthy man can afford everything except a conscience.

268.  a) When in doubt, lie

b) When in doubt, buy

c) When in doubt, demand more money

d) When in doubt, shoot them, take their money, run and blame someone else.

283.  Rules are always subject to change.

284.  Rules are always subject to interpretation.