The Value of Understanding

First Atlas Event at the LHC

It may seem I have focused on “dissing” scientists lately. The focus of my irritation is mainly limited to theoreticians who fancy themselves somewhat more than scientists, who overlap, stepping into other disciplines with flagrant disregard, without bothering to educate themselves first. In this, they commit the same transgressions they complain about. Actually, I admire their chutzpah, too.

Experimental scientists, on the other hand, rock. They are the blue collar grease monkeys that stick their fingers into the light sockets to find out what will happen. They get the job done. They are the detectives and the judges, having the final say about the theoretician’s abstract arguments, as well as their own. In general, they are a more humble lot, without necessarily being any less imaginative or knowledgeable than their theoretical counterparts. Of course, theorists, being who they are, would generally disagree. But that doesn’t matter.

There are some people who would argue that science has not improved our lives. It has. And it has done so because there are people curious about how everything around us works. We help them go about exploring their curiosity while simultaneously reaping the benefits. It is a good relationship. Unfortunately, that relationship is sometimes strained.

For example, Europe’s Large Hadron Collider has recently wandered into the mainstream’s attention. This is not altogether accidental — scientists realize their funding is largely dependent upon the goodwill of the masses. They have learned to improve their marketing skills, usually by exploiting the ever-hungry egos of theoreticians eager to be elevated to celebrity status. But in doing so, they have provided an excellent service, bringing many modern scientific questions to the attention of we lay people. It is unprecedented.

Unfortunately, being new to the multiplicity we throngs of monkeys represent, scientists appear to make a naïve assumption. That is, monkeys are reasonable. We are not. We are interested in those things which make us happy. We do not like things that make us unhappy. Reason makes scientists happy. But it does not, necessarily, make all the other monkeys happy. So, what to do? Well, let’s find some common ground. What makes everyone happy? It would be a very large orgy indeed, making everyone happy through sex and love. It would also be both impractical and messy. Perhaps the next best thing for we cute little hedonists? How about money?

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is huge, and quite expensive. It is, in most ways, the most powerful and complex machine ever constructed, drawing upon a dizzying array of disciplines. The LHC employs thousands of people, bringing Europe once again into the forefront of high energy particle physics, and likely, physics in general. People desire to go where they will be free, and feel they have a chance at a good future. And for scientists, Europe has all the candy.

The question is, in terms of candy, how much did Europe have to pay for this massive influx of brain talent? The answer is, just about the same amount as the United States would have paid to build the Superconducting Supercollider (SSC), which would have been even more powerful and already in operation years ago. Unfortunately, it was too expensive for our tastes. Spread out over the construction time, the LHC has cost Europe approximately $1 billion per year to build. To put this in perspective, the United States is perfectly happy literally burning money on war at a rate that would build one SSC, or LHC, each and every month.

Instead, we paid just over one third the price tag for the SSC, creating the superconducting magnets, excavating over 20 miles of earth, and building the facilities in Texas. It cost us several billion dollars. However, instead of completing the project, we closed it down. The facility in Texas is now used instead as a training ground for military exercises in the “war on terror”. I can remember the day, so many years ago, when I learned the SSC was canceled. I was standing in the office of a government technology mogul at Battelle Memorial Institute, discussing a study I did on the effects the Internet would have on society; specifically government and industry. I was dumbfounded. I found it impossible understanding how Congress could cancel such an important project, particularly after spending so much money. The reasons were fascinating, and dispiriting.

England is experiencing similar debates right now concerning their financial contributions to the LHC. What I learned from the failure of the SSC is that the people making and influencing decisions are not altogether unreasoning. They make sense. However, they lack utterly any perspective that might allow them to see the oftentimes subtle, yet enormously revolutionary occurrences that inevitably spring from the pursuit of “pure science”.

Pure science is not, by definition, tied to any industry or money concern. It is the pursuit of knowledge, for the sake of knowledge. This is where all the good stuff happens. Discoveries are oftentimes unpredictable, and the consequences of those discoveries, surprising — and sometimes they are even revolutionary. As proof, most science laboratories have information systems in place that track unexpected results that can, later, be more fully explored. These systems are considered invaluable. Commercial laboratories often call these systems “Intellectual Property Management Systems”.

This represents the second reason scientists are marketing their research disciplines to the masses: it will hopefully educate the bureaucrats who determine the flow of funds. We see the debate this generates in action during a recent interview with Brain Cox, one of the newest science celebrities, on English television.

But, to our credit, the United States did go on to fund a large majority of the International Space Station. Anyone who watches the numerous astronaut interviews over the years cringes as the question inevitably arrives: “What benefit do we get out of the ISS?” At least, with each re-hash of the question, the public learns more. And in all honesty, it boils down to something very simple. The truly important stuff, we just don’t know. Yet. But maybe it’s worth finding out.

It’s natural to say, also, that money spent on colliers or space stations would be better spent feeding our poor, offering them medical services, or repairing our nation’s infrastructure. There is no ethical way to argue against that, reasonably. However, the issue is blurred when you consider that at least one-third, or possibly even one-half, of our country’s money is spent for war. Might it not be a worthy endeavor, drawing our attention toward the stars, or perhaps the inner workings of reality itself — in place of war? If we do, I suspect we might rediscover the better portions of our humanity that we seem to have misplaced.

I do speak of the hubris engendered by many theoreticians. It is hubris, imagining we can both understand and manipulate the components of reality. We may be mistaken. There may not even be components of reality to understand an manipulate, in the most fundamental sense. But I admire the theoreticians for trying, even when they do, so often, get caught within the trappings of more petty pursuits that may instead hinder scientific advancement. They are, after all, human, too.

I want to support science, for the pure sake of discovery and understanding. I want to learn from scientists, philosophers, poets, musicians, and even the consistently vexed clerk at the local 24-hour market. I don’t want to kill people. And I don’t want to be killed. I want to share what I’ve learned, too. I think, mostly, because it’s ours.

So this is what I hope, from our latest efforts, happening not within the shores of the United States. May we find things even more helpful than the observation of anti-matter annihilation within the substance of our bodies. May we find cures more useful than the directed streams of subatomic particle beams. May we find ourselves communicating even closer than quantum entanglement, through spooky actions at a distance. May we discover what gives us weight. May we learn to see new dimensions all around us. May we learn what binds us to the world. And, may we realize soon with certainty, that fundamentally we are, all of us, the same.

I know. There are issues in that. But in the interest of uniting around something besides death, how about we save taking on that problem for later. I’m inspired, Europa! Thank you.

And back at home, on our winding trails, one last thing. Good journeys to you, Mr. David Foster Wallace. Thank you, too.

Collect Me If I’m Rong

You hear enough of my thoughts and opinions. It’s a rare treat when I get to hear yours. I think most people keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves. I choose to think this because the alternative is, that every person walking around is a hollow zombie of null thought. Well, I suppose there is another possibility. Maybe they are polite, and keep their ideas and opinions to themselves out of respect for other people.

But I don’t believe it. Silence is self-interested: doubt in oneself, and not wanting to be exposed. Or, maybe just walk around, not caring, unaffected, until something unavoidable or inescapable happens. Actually, the second is the most self-interested of all.

But I did hear from three people about the last piece I wrote called Price Check on Isle “P”. Actually four people. One person asked why I hadn’t considered the Green Party’s Cynthia McKinney‘s candidacy for President. I have no good reason — and I’ll get into that later. The other three people told me that “Isle” was spelled “Aisle”.

Now, that’s an interesting thing to tell someone who writes poetry. My response to each was that an “aisle” wasn’t nearly as self-contained and isolated as it needed to be. My previous post, which wasn’t mailed out, was actually a poem called Pretend which happened to have “aisles”, and no “isles”. Those were narrow things, in supermarkets.  But Price Check on Isle “P” wasn’t a poem. And since it wasn’t a poem, I must have made a mistake, placing a big body of land surrounded by an ocean into the middle of a store. Well, I won’t concede. Because it was a big store – a huge store. So big, in fact, that it didn’t even need entrances or exits, because the curvature of the earth would just bring you back to your starting point before you managed to walk far enough.

Now, I know you scientists. You’re thinking, that’s just silly. Why not just say it’s a store that’s as big as the world? And that’s just nonsense, because we don’t have enough resources to build something like that. Imagine the lighting bill! Unfortunately, I can’t kidnap people, blindfold them, take them across bridges, and then set them loose. Hell, I can’t even build bridges. They’re already there. I can only jump up and down, yelling and pointing, wearing pinwheels and elephant ears. It’s a good job.

Not too unlike, except for being a little bit opposite, Plato and his republic. Plato believed poets should be banished because they promoted sloppy and dangerous unreason. Now, “unreason” is actually a word. That is, it is a proper word, blessed and sanctified by whatever committee blesses and sanctifies such things. It was the proper word to use there, to portray what I meant. But it would have been the proper word, even if it wasn’t a proper word. And I would have used it. And that’s some tension.

Philosophy and poetry make uneasy bedfellows, unless they’re rolling around in that bed in your head together. Philosophy wants to be clear, rigorous and inescapable. This requires words with little ambiguity. Poetry, on the other hand, has different ideas about what clarity is, and you can come and go as you please. And as for being rigorous, well, it depends on the mood.

But, uneasy or not, Poetry and Philosophy are bedfellows. Both are concerned with the most basic essence of the subjects they deal with, not just appearances or the presently accepted “how the way things are”. In the terms of Philosophy, Philosophy is concerned with more than just the epistemological and ontological. And from Poetry, I have yet to embrace all that might be seen.

It is very narrow and short sighted to believe that Philosophy is all about logic and reasoning, while poetry is all about feeling. Poetry can, and often does, delve into the heart of matters that lies beyond both emotion and reason. And the philosopher might ask, what can possibly exist that is beyond both emotion and reason? And that philosopher might find themselves smack in the headspace of a poet, while still being a philosopher. Which, of course, through logic, epistemology, ontology and a good splattering of aesthetics, might be just a chemical sea within our gray matter — devoid of the skepticism required by the limitations of our human sense, that seeks to know itself, through limited means. And then, well, we’re mostly just back to poetry.

And no, you scientists don’t know any better. Science is the epitome of hubris. Science believes that epistemological continuity is enough to reveal an ontology when they can make empiricism fit nice and snug. Unfortunately, they just can’t see, even if by some crazy chance they happen to be right, that it just loops right back into Philosophy, landing with a thud into metaphysics. It amazes me how many scientists fancy themselves philosophers just because they run around with calculators and rulers, and can go, “see! see!”. Their domain within philosophy is narrow indeed, but it is formidable. And of course, it can be spectacularly helpful.

It’s like this: philosophers can talk about love in great depth, just like poets (if they can get past the embarrassment of being associated with a cliché). Scientists can poke at pleasure centers in the brain, and fiddle with areas of memory that might contain people we know. Or other scientists, who some scientists consider only pseudo-scientists, whatever that is, might say that you feel love for a particular person because your father was always away from home working, and that person scratches their ass just like your father did.

Or, some people might spell tomato “tomatoe”. Either way, it’s a big yummy juicy red thing. Does it matter? Well, were you supposed to imagine walking around with squishy red phalanges in your sneakers? If you’re not, then it’s up you whether the tomatoe guy is an idiot. You’ve got the tomato in your head either way. And it’s hard to tell, if you correct their spelling, will they accept it, happily corrected, and be smarter? Or will they turn into an even null-er headed zombie, even less likely speak?

Most people wouldn’t bother considering that question. They’re too happy being more clever, even in silence. At least clever in spelling. But it’s a good question to consider: how do you help someone expand into something more, without making them feel like an idiot, or get all defensive and shut everything down? Well, philosophers usually just let the scientists have their delusions of grandeur, knowing that the grandeur to which they aspire will engulf them soon enough. However, scientists have an edge. They are motivated to learn more. That’s not a widely shared human characteristic.

Yet strangely, even despite ourselves, we all do learn more, and in wildly different ways. Maybe this has something to do with those zingy pleasure centers of the brain. It feels good, even learning, when it’s something we like. The hopeful bit for me is that all of us have been surprised, at one time or another, just how pleasurable something was, that we never imagined might be. And in that spirit, maybe hope yet exists for people, who might find a way to arise from the self-interested zombie null head that presently plagues us.

We are dominated by the literal and the empirical right now. And I just told you a lie.

We believe in the literal and empirical right now. The trouble is, the literal and the empirical are not standing on solid footing. If you start asking the questions, you find the answers quickly – and those answers are, there are always more questions. And after a while, you might stop asking why this or that things is blah blah blah, and you start asking, why am I believing this? Why am I doing this? Is this really who I am? Is this who I want to be? Skepticism is a step. But I’m talking deep, personal and all-encompassing skepticism. A friggin baptism in the reexamination of everything.

And suddenly, you find out that you’re not an economist after all. Or that politics is a spider web. And it’s okay for politics to be a spider web, even when it’s literally not — but that it’s NOT okay that politics is a spider web. And Santa doesn’t like to shop. And energy is abundant. And when everything just dissolves like that, and you manage to avoid medication, maybe you might find, if you need it, that being a philosopher or a poet is something that is still okay. And in all honesty, they’re not really uneasy bedfellows. They just seem that way, when you haven’t crawled into the covers yourself. But it’s true they are very marginalized in our society. And considering our society, that is not surprising.

OK. So now I have a dirty little secret to tell, after all this. It turns out that I did not, in fact, purposefully use “Isle” instead of “Aisle”. It happened on its own. It’s also the better choice, that wasn’t a choice. Which is also the greatest thing about love, squishy, sweet and cleansing as tomatoes. And really, all kinds of other nifty little doo-dads, buried right under our noses.

Now go work your calculators on that.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Galileo was the first “true” or modern scientist. It’s common wisdom. He was the first person to confirm his ideas through verifiable, physical observation and experimentation. I hear this all the time, even from “modern” scientists. I suppose that means, the still alive ones. Modern scientists tend to get caught up in what they know.

Maybe that’s why they forgot Erastothenes, who lived almost 2,000 years before Galileo was born. Erastothenes was a mathematician and a poet. A librarian, too. And an athlete. If he were modern, I’m certain he’d wear those small, barely-visible glasses above a chiseled, athletic jaw. Well, he did go blind eventually…

Erastothenes was the head librarian at The Great Library of Alexandria, perhaps the world’s first pure research institution. The Library was charged, by royal decree, with the modest task of gathering all the world’s knowledge. Over the few hundred years it survived the destructive consequences of war, Alexandria became a magnet for scholars of the ancient world. They flocked to this magnificent institution of knowledge, research and peer discourse and were even provided living accommodations.

Erastothenes had access to an enormous wealth of knowledge, both written on scrolls and through lively chatter amongst the inhabitants of Alexandria. One semi-famous account finds Erastothenes coming across a scroll which described how shadows fell in the city of Syene upon the summer solstice. Or, rather, how they didn’t fall. With clever insight, he hired a man to painstakingly measure the distance between Syene and Alexandria. Then, by using the geometry of shadows cast in Syene and Alexandria at the same time of day, combined with the distance between Syene and Alexandria, Erastothenes proved, through scientific observation and experimentation not only that the world was round; he also managed to compute the circumference of the Earth with astonishing accuracy.

I’m not exactly certain why “modern” scientists believe Galileo was the first modern scientist. Maybe it has something to do with the thousand or so years of intellectual darkness that fell upon us after the destruction of Alexandria and the ongoing pursuit of war in the Roman Empire.. Or maybe Galileo is the first modern scientist because he used a tool, such as a telescope, instead of just a ruler and a shadow like Erastothenes. Perhaps this demonstrates one of the fundamental differences between philosophers and scientists: perhaps Galileo was the first modern scientist because he is not considered a philosopher. The trouble is, he was. And Erastothenes used math to determine things about observations, and made predictions. Even Pythagoras applied geometry to the vibrations of strings, hundreds of years before Erastothenes. Maybe Galileo was the first modern scientist because he railed against the social power structures of his day, at great personal cost. No? Well, he did take advantage of his position to sell “his” telescope invention for military purposes, shutting out a competitor. Ok. Now we have it. Galileo is the father of modern science.

That’s not really fair, though. Today, nearly all leading edge physics and cosmology is done more in mathematics than experimentation and observation. Newton’s our guy, here. After all, he pretty much invented “the calculus”, not to mention our laws of gravity. He’s certainly the grandaddy of all theoretical physicists. Interestingly, he wrote more on religion than he did on science. Obsessively so. He also studied alchemy. Eventually he took over the job of making coins for the British Empire, entrapping counterfeiters, and personally seeing to their prosecution and hanging. Alright, I can see why scientists wouldn’t want this nutter, however brilliant, being the poster boy for “modern” science.

His use of higher-order mathematics was a staggering revolution in science, nonetheless. We long knew that math could be applied to the observed physical world, but calculus was cooking with gas. It had all the bells and whistles, and you didn’t even need to get your hands dirty or waste any time mucking about with experiments and contraptions. And somewhere along our path to modernity, the metaphysics of mathematics seems to have shed most of its “meta” qualities. Reassuringly, mathematicians recognized this trend and a slight schism ensued, resulting in a new branch of mathematics called “applied” mathematics. It’s a very special bridge, between the physical and the metaphysical. It makes things go.

And from here, we have a multitude of scientists exploring and defining the mechanics of existence, getting far out ahead of themselves, where science might, hopefully, some day, find ways to test through old-fashioned experimental validation. Our best tests for theories rest in the aesthetic of a beautiful math snippet. Elaborate, intricate and towering structures are built with metaphysical instruments, and even more is built upon those if they appear aesthetically pleasing enough to prevailing trends or factions. It’s a frantic obsession within the metaphysical, worthy of Newton in his most manic conditions, deep in the isolated darkness, lost in the magic of alchemical experiments.

But we do get experimental results occasionally, as experimental scientists laboriously claw their way toward the math, concocting physical instruments that might show us what we do, or do not expect. And since there are an infinite number of numbers between 0 and 1, hope remains.

The tensions between philosophy and science are interesting ones. Scientists have a tendency to discount philosophers, while at the same time employing philosophical reasoning to their work. I imagine philosophers appear somewhat willy-nilly in their sensibilities since their sensibilities are not absolutely dependent upon science. And in a universe where scientists wrestle with the notion of free will in a potentially mathematically determinate wad of body and brain particles, I imagine it is no surprise that a good song might be all the more appreciated at the end of the day.

The Breakfast Breakthrough

StrawberryIt was strawberry waffles that did it to me, the first time. On a sunny day in Seattle, only recently living on my own on Capitol Hill. It’s a busy place for people on sunny days with sidewalks crammed by the flow of bodies in all directions. And at that point in history, Capitol Hill had wildly diverse people. I was having breakfast with a book, near the large windows revealing the spectacle of an unremarkable day. The strawberries were fresh, sweet and juicy. Then suddenly, everything around me became like one enormously real thing, yet completely unreal. I stopped mid-bite terrified, yet somehow without fear, at all that I saw in the commonplace before my eyes and ears. The movement of people appeared like mathematics, and the sounds of everything mashed in upon my head like a deafening drone.

I made myself chew the strawberry and waffle in my mouth, and swallow. But nothing changed. I feared I might stand up raving like a lunatic. As a lunatic. I had to do something to find normality once again. I put money down on the table and left the little restaurant. The cars moved along the street as they always did. Throngs of people passed with hair and clothes, all so different, yet all the same. The building walls channeled all movement along straight grids. The gray sidewalk sat atop the earth under my feet while little decorative trees popped up, rising from little squares at perfect intervals along the way. The sounds were enormous. The light reflecting from the substantiative material of people and objects were caught by my eyes, and perceived, and I realized that I perceived. I didn’t know where I was going as I walked, and neither did they. I encountered two different people I knew who started speaking to me like a known equation, etched in what was and always will be. Both I told, I cannot speak now, and carried on.

Eventually I found myself sitting in a cafe with Ty, who I happened to see through a window. He was always very strange in a beautiful way. Immediately, without intimation, he asked me what was wrong. I told him that I suddenly felt crazy and described in a free flow of rambling impressions all that I was experiencing. He was grinning larger and larger until I finally asked, what’s wrong with you? And he laughed, asking me if everything seemed like it did, now. I thought about it, looking around and noticed that much had passed back down into the background. No, it’s not happening so much now, I answered him. And he told me, yes, it isn’t, but it is.

Artists are a different kind of people. Everyone has at least a bit of the artist within them. It is how we manage to see things differently than how we have always seen them. It is a wrecking ball and an erector set. It is a microscope and a macroscopic lens. It is fear and love, hate, passion and hope — or it is pain. It is a singular mirror showing what is there, or a group of mirrors aligned to reflect the infinite. It is an equation of physics and bowel movement of color. It is honesty, down to the core that we do not know — which transcends culture.

Late that evening I was with a small group of friends having dinner. I told them my story. The smartest among them informed me that I had experienced an anxiety attack. These were medically recognized and common. I could even take medication to stop them from happening again. After all, he did. I looked at him closely, examining every nuance I could find and asked, why would you want to stop something like that from ever happening? Yes, it was terrifying, but it was a life-altering experience, and honestly, still is. But I see paths now that were previously invisible, which I must take. Then it struck me — I realized that he was unable to take any new paths. Revelations without the will to change means that these revelations are dangerous and subversive and must be squelched. And at this same time I realized why art is attacked by more authoritarian mindsets.

A poet knows that a single word can be art. A word represents a conceptual object that we all share. We tie these objects together to construct ever more elaborate conceptual constructions that might reflect a “natural” perception of our experience, or might reflect a more artificial one, usually in the name of convenience. Sometimes we accept conceptual objects in a generalized sense without even knowing their meaning. For example, a man I recently met was telling me that he was growingly irritated by people who say they hate money. He reasoned that money is simply a measurement of the exchange between our efforts contributed to society, in exchange for what we need or want. As such, money is a measurement of what we do with our lives. Therefore, if we hate money, then we hate our lives. I’ll take this reasoning a tiny extra step forward, and say that for him, money equals life, or at least life is a subset of money. This was an extraordinarily reasonable man, and intelligent. Unfortunately, he is living in a state of error, caused grief as a result, yet he promotes that error to others.

TaughtMany things we believe, pursue and even promote, arise from conceptualizations we adhere to without fully questioning their validity beyond the sheer weight in numbers of the people similarly adhering. From our beginnings as children, open to any possibility and potential, we observe and make sense of our surroundings, from the most basic physical interactions to eventually the most complex abstractions. We rely upon those who know more than ourselves to determine oftentimes unknowable things for us. They do this because they are willing to do so, or feel a strong personal belief that doing so is beneficial in some way. These people have enormous power because they substantially define fundamental aspects of our lives. It is a power we give them. It is the reason art is often considered subversive to power.

Ideally, the conceptualizations of a society are intended to raise people’s lives and awareness to a level beyond our individuality so that we might all benefit from each other more than we could living entirely alone. The concept of money is one way to measure this. But it is also easily exploitable as an instrument of power over others. And it is exploited. At every possible turn. Since not everyone can be “winners”, this results in a sense of despair and futility for the vast majority of people who have seen beyond the promised land of monetary wealth for all. I have to wonder, might there not be another way to live? If despair, futility and the oppression of never having that promised dream were eliminated, what might we be left with? What might we contribute to each other, simply because we want to?

When the smart man told me my terrifying experience was simply an anxiety attack, he wrapped it up neatly within a conceptualization that boxed it into its proper place on a shelf within our current social structures. I was to leave it there, or be considered ill and needing drugs to maintain proper sensibilities. So, order is maintained, despite error. But to me, the revelation of error and even moreso the revelation of aspects beyond the current conceptualizations led me instead to revel in this experience that so unexpectedly brought me closer to my own humanity, and the precarious and precious humanity of so many other beings with whom I share this world.

In a sense, you might say that sweet strawberry brought on a long-running anxiety attack whose duration is now spanning nearly two decades. I recognize its effect and feel its force more acutely from time to time. Just as we all do. I have learned that it is nothing to fear. It only means that we are occasionally reminded that what we see and how we are living is not quite right. It only means that paths once invisible are now revealed, and perhaps we should take them, even though we may not know where they lead. This, more than tradition and rhetoric, is the fountainhead of hope — the first step in creating all new things. It is the wrecking ball, and the erector set. It is the soft wind that blew us forward, from behind. It is what we feel, and what we know. It is more than anyone can say. It is incredibly, not what we are, quite yet. But come on, you know…


Image credits:
Picture of mom with kind permission from Zane Mumford.
Strawberry from FreeDigitalPhotos.net